Rejection: the struggle.

It happens every day.

You put a lot of effort into something; you work hard, you’re confident, you feel like you’re the best person for something.

Yet, you get rejected, and you don’t know why.

Sometimes the people on the other side don’t see the value you can bring. Other times you’re just not good enough.

Rejection happens in all kinds of forms. Being ignored is rejection. Being isolated from a group is rejection. Getting a no is rejection.

No matter the kind of rejection you’re experiencing. You must deal with it.

I’ve experienced it all and every day I deal with it. Sometimes it’s difficult, but you have to persist.

I used to apply to a lot of things, putting all my hopes in my application. I thought every email I sent would get a reply. I always ended up being disappointed because people didn’t even respond to my emails. And when I received a response, it was only to get a sorry but no.

Same thing happens in high-school. Kids like to make fun of each other. We’ve all been victims of rejection in school.

You’re defined by how you handle rejection. Here are the ways I handle rejection.

Don’t give importance to people.

For some reason, people like to criticize. Some people are good and criticize only to help you improve yourself. Listen to these persons; it’ll give you invaluable insights on how to move forward.

Sadly, the truth is most critics only do because they want to hurt you. They don’t want you to succeed. It’s like those haters in the comments of YouTube videos.

Don’t respond with negativity. Be the bigger man (or woman).

If you care about what people think, you’ll have a tough life. Why? Because you’ll be too busy pleasing everybody. You shouldn’t care about people’s opinion.

You cannot please everyone, and as soon as you listen to people, they give up on you.

Unless their critics are constructive, don’t listen to them.

Be always true to yourself and do what is right.

Don’t expect anything.

Today, when I apply for something. I don’t expect anything. I do my best and send it. Once I press the send button, I forget about it. If the application is successful great, if not, it won’t hurt me. Don’t expect anything.

As soon as you start expecting something from the other person you’ve already lost. Don’t make it transactional, be genuine learn about your client or employer and know what’s their interest then deliver value. But never expect anything in return. If you understand this, you’re already ahead of most people.

Some people get sad or even cry as soon as they get rejected, but there is no reason to get upset over something you cannot control.

The only thing you can control is doing. Do and don’t be dependent on one person.

Deliver the highest value to the other side and if they don’t want you, try again, try other people.

Keep trying, apply as many times as it will take. One day you’ll be surprised.

If you’re as good as you think, someone will see the value and help you.

Don’t quit if you want it.

Whenever you get rejected, ask them what went wrong. Why did they choose someone else? What made the difference between you and someone else? This way you get to learn from your mistakes and maybe even discover some weaknesses that you were not able to see by yourself.

You can easily feel like quitting.

Have faith in yourself and keep getting better at what you do, one day you’ll either get the job you want, or you’ll end up building your own company.

The key here is to persist. I previously wrote a post about perseverance if you haven’t yet, you can read it here.

The road is long, but if you’re good enough and persistent, you’ll reach your goal.

The process.

Rejection is just part of the process.

Being rejected sometimes turns out to be for the best. Maybe it’s not the right time, or maybe something better is waiting for you.

The thing is, don’t get upset every time you get rejected. It might be a good thing.

Those are not pleasant experiences, but you need to live them to get where you want to be. Rejection builds your personality and your capacity to succeed.

The only way to handle rejection is to get rejected. Go out and do things, get rejected. The more rejection you experience, the less affected you’ll be.

If you’re not getting rejected, you’re not trying; you’re not different. You just are.

Work hard and trust serendipity.

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